Personal journal entry: “The Fault In Our Stars”

The Fault In Our Stars

Journal Entry -June 27, 2014 Orlando

Lauren and I saw “The Fault In Our Stars” Wednesday night. She heard of the book through a movie trailer. Lauren insisted that we immediately get the book so she could read it before she saw the movie. She read the book through tears and anticipation in just one week. I love watching her read with aggression. When her hands hold a book she likes, reading becomes as necessary and natural as breathing.

Since she finished the book while we were on vacation, we decided to catch the movie right here in Orlando. The movie was great. No, great is the wrong word. The plot was brilliantly conceptualized. I “felt” the characters. I experienced true empathy for the pain, fight and reality of terminally ill cancer patients.

I cried and cried. I fought hard, at first, to hold back my tears. I suppose I didn’t want to ruin my makeup. Or, did I not want Lauren to see me feel hard emotion? Pretty quickly, though, I gave in to the emotion and let myself just be. All I wanted to “be” was sad and empathic. So I let go and cried some more. Intensely I cried. I’m certain it was an ugly cry. The movie was sad, enlightening, engaging, empathy-invoking.

I can’t find “the” right word to describe this movie. Lauren would find my struggle for the right word amusing, as I am always pressing her to be more specific and detailed in her communication.

Most impacting to me was how fully the terminally ill children in the movie lived. They laughed, hurt, loved, and struggled, just like me. Just like my children. They didn’t wallow in self-pity, unlike a lot of healthy people. They inspired me and gave me hope.

I know I saw “The Fault In Our Stars” at just the right time. Last week I took on Make-A-Wish Foundation as a client. This movie helps me understand on a deeper level just how profoundly impacting Wish Granters are to terminally ill children. No doubt, I will create even greater value for my client because of the glimpse into the lives of terminally ill children this movie gave me. Thank you Father, for the gift of this movie.

–Myra

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