Three Steps to Being Confident and Prepared When Talking to Employees About a Problem

Successful businesswoman in suit with arrogant expression
This is you. Confident and Prepared.

So, my 14-year son old got contact lenses for the first time last week. He’s struggling to get the contacts in. Every morning Warren comes downstairs to my bathroom so I can help him with his technique.

More than once he’s said, “I freakin’ hate contacts!” He even asked me to hold his upper eyelid up and steady for him. I explained, “I could hold your eyelid for you, but that won’t help you. You have to be able to do this yourself.”

Watching him struggle has been difficult. So, last night I had the idea to coach my son using the same three-step method I tell my clients to use when they have to help an employee through a problem or to give someone constructive feedback. This technique is what I call Know, Feel, Do.

What is it I want Warren to Know about contact insertion? How do I want him to Feel? And, what do I want him to Do?

Know. I want my son to Know that it takes time to get a technique down and to feel comfortable, this is normal for all new contact lens wearers. I want my son to know what approach works for me.

Feel. I want my son to feel grateful that he doesn’t have to wear glasses, thankful that I was willing to pay $418 out of pocket for a year supply of daily lenses. I want my son to feel that he can do this!

Do. I want my son to stop the negative self-talk, be patient, listen to my instruction and to be able to insert his contacts by this time next week and to be able to do it quickly.

God is good! Using my focused and positive Know, Feel, Do, this morning Warren got his contacts in in less than 10 minutes. Yesterday it took around 30 minutes, so this is a big deal.

You can use Know, Feel, Do to coach employees on a process, attitude problem or any performance issue. Here’s precisely how to apply Know, Feel, Do to your talks with employees.

Let’s say Akousa is struggling with calls and is passing too many calls on to supervisors. Before you meet with her,  you could write out your Know, Feel, Do this way:


I want her to know:

Her escalation rate is 81% higher than the norm for our team
I think she’s capable of doing better
Some tactics can be used to help her speak with confidence, knowledge, and to establish control
Precisely how to apply the three tactics Myra taught in our training (I’ll play an actual call where the tactics are used successfully)


I want her to feel:

Feel my support for her
She can control calls more effectively
Assured in her ability to pre-empt escalations and control conversations


This is what I want her to do:

Control calls from the start by displaying knowledge, confidence, and avoiding inflammatory words
Say things like, “I realize this is frustrating for you. What we can do is______”
Come to me if she continues to struggle so I can help
Reach out to co-workers for ideas and strategies

Know, Feel, Do forces you to think through how you want your employee to feel and the results you want to achieve.  You walk into meetings fully prepared and confident!

Use Know, Feel, Do to help you prepare for talks with employees. When you do, you’ll be fiercely focused, and things will be more comfortable than you likely envisioned!

My gift to you! My popular video:

How to Solve Your Biggest Problems with Coaching Contact Center Agents

It’s a fact. Most managers don’t give employees the constructive feedback they need to develop and grow. Some managers shy away from conflict. Perhaps they hope the problem will correct itself. Many fear getting a difficult to handle response from the employee. We never want to admit it, but some managers want to be “friends” with their employees, and this “friendship” keeps them from the giving the constructive feedback their employees need. And then there are those who just wait until the annual performance review to lay it all on the employee.

View Webinar –>  Use password: MMMADED$