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The Fastest Way to De-escalate Is To Use Your Customer’s Last 3 Words

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When you have an enraged customer on the phone or in front of you, nothing threads the needle like mirroring the customer’s words. Copying the customer’s angry expressions makes the customer feel heard and understood. When the unreasonable customer feels like you’re listening is when they go from a boil to a simmer.

There are only three things you have to remember to do with mirroring.

  1. Copy the last three words the customer mouths
  2. Pause for a beat
  3. Repeat

Mirror the customer’s last three words

The most critical part of mirroring to de-escalate is to merely repeat back the last three words (or the critical one to three words) your customer mouthed, and put a question mark in your voice.

I learned the three-word technique from former FBI hostage negotiator, Chris Voss in his book, “Never Split the Difference: Negotiate Like Your Life Depends On It.”

Let me walk you through this. Continue reading “The Fastest Way to De-escalate Is To Use Your Customer’s Last 3 Words”

Eliminate Your Fears And Doubts About Coaching Problem Employees

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One of the things I’m working on for you in 2019 is giving you tools to help you coach your employees and hold them accountable, so they’re positioned to deliver the best possible customer experience.

Eliminate Your Fears and Doubts About Coaching

No one likes to talk to employees about unacceptable performance, but for a lot of us, talking to people about problems with performance is a regular part of managing. You know the feeling – you probably get a little nervous, or you put off having the discussion about issues, hoping things will self-correct. It’s time to get over your fears about coaching. Continue reading “Eliminate Your Fears And Doubts About Coaching Problem Employees”

Behind The Scenes Look at My Filming at LinkedIn Learning

For two years I’ve partnered with LinkedIn Learning to create courses to help employees be more assured and skilled in their ability to handle demanding customers.

Here are some behind the scenes photos from my visit last week to LinkedIn Learning to film two new training courses.

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Brilliant make-up artist, Tomeko, keeps me looking good on the set.
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What I like about being on set is filming only from the waist up. If only I could facilitate workshops in leggings and ballet flats!

Continue reading “Behind The Scenes Look at My Filming at LinkedIn Learning”

Three Preparations You Should Make Before Talking to Your Employee About a Problem

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One of the things I’m working on for 2019 is giving you tools to help you coach your employees and hold them accountable so that they are positioned to deliver the best possible customer experience.

The way YOU do that is, you go into discussions with your employees with a plan, and with confidence. I’m going to give you a 3-step method for how to talk to your employees about a problem, be that problem attitude, attendance, the way they interact with customers, anything.

Use what I call KFD

KFD stands for: Know, Feel, Do

Before going into a meeting with an employee, identify, and write down, what you want them to Know, Feel, and Do.

Let’s say you’re going to talk to an employee about her tone or attitude with customers. Your KFD could look something like this: Continue reading “Three Preparations You Should Make Before Talking to Your Employee About a Problem”

What I Wish Everyone Knew About Addressing Unacceptable Performance

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Talking to employees about problem performance, and getting them to change is hard – unless you do four things very well. Here’s what I wish everyone knew about addressing unacceptable employee performance.

  1. You have to have a plan; otherwise, you’ll get off track, and your employees won’t make changes.
  2. Coach like a coach. Don’t try to be friends with employees. Your job is to bring out their best.
  3. Get agreement. You can’t fix a problem that doesn’t exist in the mind of your employee. Help employees see the impact of their performance.
  4. Don’t accept excuses. Whining, blaming, and justifying are common defense mechanisms. Don’t let excuses fly.

I’m walking you through these 4 points so you can nip unacceptable performance in the bud. Continue reading “What I Wish Everyone Knew About Addressing Unacceptable Performance”

4 Facts That Nobody Told You About Coaching Employees

Middle age blonde business woman over isolated background depressed and worry for distress, crying angry and afraid. Sad expression.

We coach employees to make them better, and to correct unacceptable performance. In both cases, there are four things you, as a “coach” must do to make coaching bring out behavioral change.

The Four Things Coaching Must Be

Immediate – You can’t put off coaching discussions.

Foreseeable – Your expectations must be clear, so no one is surprised. Ever.

Consistent – You can’t give corrective feedback sometimes, and then other times turn a blind eye.

Impersonal – You can’t talk to some employees about poor performance, but sit back and let some employees make the same mistakes. Doing this makes you seem unfair, and this spells big problems. Continue reading “4 Facts That Nobody Told You About Coaching Employees”