You Have to Acknowledge a Customer’s Anger. Here’s Why.

A common mistake I hear customer service professionals make when I perform quality checks is ignoring the customer’s expression of anger.

Great Day-2

There is something known as the communication chain. When people communicate, they expect the person they are communicating with to respond or react…this response is a link in the communication chain. A failure to respond to communication leaves the communication chain broken.

For example, If I open a customer service training with “Good morning!”…and the audience is dead silent, they’ve broken the communication chain. And that leaves me feeling awkward, perhaps embarrassed. I’d have the uncomfortable feeling that the workshop would not go well, based on the lack of acknowledgement.

If a customer expresses anger and we fail to respond to it, the communication chain is broken and the customer feels like they are not getting through. The customer might become even angrier and more difficult, as they are resorting to whatever it takes to feel heard and understood.

Continue reading “You Have to Acknowledge a Customer’s Anger. Here’s Why.”

What Aikido Masters Know About Handling Difficult People That You Don’t

Aikido woman


I’m sitting at my desk reading feedback from my recent Verbal Aikido workshop. The workshop was: “What Aikido Master Know About Handling Difficult People That You Don’t” As you know, much of what I teach is focused on how to most effectively deal with difficult customers. So, for this special online training event I taught my clients how to deal with extremely difficult customers. I call these customers collectively The Consumer Vigilante. Here’s what one participant had to say about the training:

“We have seen versions of this before but I like that you are updating and refreshing these webinars. Sometimes seeing them refreshed or in a different format or something, it may help things click with some of the reps. I think with the climate we are in and more customers being stressed out than ever, we are having more and more challenging customers and our reps need the ammunition to help them and help themselves otherwise it makes the job so much harder. I can’t wait to get the recording of this to make this one a required webinar where we will sit down and talk about it afterwards as a team.”

Deb Riley, Former Consumer Affairs Supervisor, Ahold USA

In the training I explained that today’s consumers are impatient, savvy and relentless. Some customers, the consumer vigilantes, will stop at nothing. I walked my audience through the toll difficult customs are taking on employees and organizations:

  1. Extremely difficult customers are putting serious stress on employees. This stress is bringing down morale and inviting burnout.
  2. Difficult customers cost companies money! The time it takes to deal with unhappy and extremely difficult customers is taking time away from your best customers and resulting in a poor customer experience because staff can’t deliver the best service to the best customers.

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Screen shot from my Verbal Aikido rehearsal

I shared thoughts, stories, perspectives and research to inspire my audience to take a more focused approach toward handling difficult customers. And then I presented a powerful solution to handling difficult customers, the consumer vigilantes of the world: What Aikido Masters Know About Handing Difficult People That You Don’t 5 Aikido Principles for Creating Calm, Defusing Anger and Moving to Closure with Difficult Customers.

If you missed the big event, you can still purchase the training video. Your training includes: Unlimited viewing within your organization with no expiration Rights to download and save webinar video Rights to incorporate webinar within your Learning Management System (LMS) What Aikido Masters Know About Handing Difficult People That You Don’t 60-minute video on-demand video training $299 per organization Purchase

What I’m doing this morning

Espresso for Writing

The drink: Ethiopian espresso. The scent: pumpkin spice candle. The music: Reggae. The scene: My home office. The task: Run-through for a keynote I’m delivering in Scottsdale.

I’m working from home while contractors install my new wood floor. (I’m pretty excited about my new floor.)

The tools and the men are too loud for me to hold conference calls. And I can’t leave to go out and meet with clients. So I’m using the time do a run-through for a keynote I’ll deliver in a couple of weeks.

I titled my keynote:

Dealing with Screamers, Schemers and Other Difficult People

Using the powerful martial art Aikido (合気道 aikidō) as a benchmark, I will give my audience strategies, tactics, and psychological insights for dealing with demanding, irate, and unreasonable customers.

My approach for this keynote is “serenity and maturity” versus “punches and power” as the most effective method for creating calm and reaching resolution.

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This is what my audience will walk away with:

  • The psychology of anger – Understand what is going on in the mind of your angry or scheming customer
  • How to strategically encourage calm with angry people using 5 principles from Aikido
  • You cannot ignore a person’s expression of anger – find out why you MUST assertively acknowledge a person’s anger
  • The critical importance of reflecting back the upset person’s intensity – and how to do it gracefully
  • Holding your own with difficult people: How to say what you mean and mean what you say— without being mean
  • Word-for-word (assertively powerful) phrases for what to say when a person is yelling or cursing at you

I can’t wait to deliver this keynote!

I’m going to go check in on the contractors. If your team could use help with dealing with difficult customers, you may want to check out my programs here.

 

Myra Golden’s Slide Deck from ICAE in Newport Beach: Verbal Aikido as a Strategy for Handling the Consumer Vigilante (Extremely Difficult Customers)

Aikido woman

I had such a fun Monday! I taught Aikido!

Well, I taught verbal Aikido.

On Monday, I had the privilege of being the opening keynote speaker at the Insurance Consumer Affairs Exchange Conference (ICAE) in Newport Beach, CA.

As you know, much of what I teach is focused on how to most effectively deal with difficult customers.

So, for ICAE I designed and delivered a keynote (and workshop) on how to deal with extremely difficult customers. I call these customers collectively The Consumer Vigilante.

In my keynote, I explained that today’s consumers are impatient, savvy and relentless. Some customers, the consumer vigilantes, will stop at nothing.

I walked my audience through the toll difficult customs are taking on employees and organizations:

  1. Extremely difficult customers are putting serious stress on employees. This stress is bringing down morale and inviting burnout.
  2. Difficult customers cost companies money! The time it takes to deal with unhappy and extremely difficult customers is taking time away from your best customers and resulting in a poor customer experience because staff can’t deliver the best service to the best customers.

I shared thoughts, stories, perspectives and research to inspire my audience to take a more focused approach toward handling difficult customers. And then I offered a powerful solution to handling difficult customers, the consumer vigilantes of the world:

Verbal Aikido

My keynote was very well received. We laughed, engaged and learned 5 principles from Aikido for dealing more effectively with extremely difficult customers.

For the benefit of my wonderful ICAE audience and as a treat for my blog readers, I am posting my slide deck from the presentation. I also have a link to the videos I talked about in my keynote.

Enjoy. Share. Learn. Download the slide deck right here.

“Put Yourself In Their Shoes” video http://youtu.be/cDDWvj_q-o8

This is such a powerful video that truly gets participants to feel for another person.

And here’s the Jack Nicholson clip I talked about near the end of my keynote:

I actually feature this clip in my full-day customer service workshops. It gets hilarious laughter for sure, but after the clip we discuss how the waitress could have handled this customer better.

Watch the video, paying careful attention to the waitress. Note your first impression as she approaches Jack’s table, her facial expression, attitude, etc. Next, flip the script. What might she have done differently to have the situation end MUCH differently?

Enjoy!

The lesson here, of course, is to be flexible and friendly. These two attributes will take you a long way with customers, even the most difficult of customers.

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The Secret to Handling Difficult Customers

Myra Golden BW-2

I’m about to reveal a hidden way for you to literally
convert “nightmare” customers into an almost endless source
of loyalty, goodwill and profits.

Simply put, you can use these insider secrets to instantly
turn angry customers into raving fans for you and your
company – without giving away the farm.

Amazing but true … and the best part is virtually nobody
knows about these techniques!

What I’m talking about is my “Stop Screaming At Me” online video training.

Check it out here.

My Slide Deck from Today’s Keynote at GMA in San Francisco

Today I will take the stage at the GMA Consumer Complaints Conference in San Francisco. I created this very special keynote to help GMA member companies completely restore customer confidence and regain goodwill after the worst has happened. For the reference of my audience and for you, my blog readers, I am posting my slides from this presentation right here on my blog.  Download your copy of my handouts now.  Enjoy. Learn. Share.

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Myra Golden runs Myra Golden Media, a customer experience design agency that specializes in helping brands create the best possible customer experience throughout all contact channels. Myra has designed customer experience platforms for such companies as Verizon Business, McDonald’s, Coca-Cola, National Car Rental, Michelin Tires and Frito Lay. She has been named one of the Top 10 Customer Service Bloggers and she is co-author of Beyond WOW! The Service Leadership Approach to Exceptional Customer Service.